The Gory Details. Through my dad's eyes.

Ha! Thought you'd get away without reading a bit before the "chase", come on man, you got to read a little.

It started like this. Two little girls, as a team, trying to be helpful to their dad, tried picking up a large jar of tomato paste from their shopping cart. This was at Publix, Store 0421 West Winds of Boca, Boca Raton. The jar fell to the concrete floor and shattered. The result could have been tragic or more serious than it was, as there was only tomato paste and shards of glass all over dad’s feet. Dad and the cashier were very gracious. They never made the girls feel guilty.

While the mess was being cleaned up by a custodian, my father went to get two helium filled balloons which he presented to the two sisters in an attempt to continue their “mental healing”.

Most times it begins like this: “That was so nice of you, you are such a nice man, got kids?”

“No I don’t”.

I see you are married, never wanted?...pause (realizing the answer could be unpleasant for both of them). In the walk as he escorted the family, with their groceries, to the car, dad gave the brief version. He could see the pain it elicited from the girls' daddy. As in most instances it ended like this “I’m truly sorry!” to which he'd reply “That’s ok”.

There were many more questions that required answers but would not make it to the lips, would not be asked.

It is a fact, most persons need the gory details, even if they can only look at it with one eye and have ensuing nightmares. We are just like that, very curious, that’s human nature and probably a little more heightened in one of the two sexes. Not an attack on feminism. LOL!

Since you want the gory details here it is.

Dad was there when I was born and mommy too LOL! It was a very cold maternity ward of the University Hospital of the West Indies.
All adorned in scrubs, he witnessed me crowning during mom’s contractions. He saw me enter the world, he heard my first feeble cry. Sadly, he was miles away when I died, he never heard my last cries, he would have died too if he was there as he cannot swim and I know he would have tried to rescue me.

There were three of us in the car on the Friday night before I left this world. Georgette a family friend was in the front passenger seat and I sat behind her. It rained a great deal; it rained so hard that there was a lot of water on the streets. So much water, there was, that the braking was impaired and the horn couldn’t sound.
When we came to Harbour Drive I remember saying there was water on the floor of the car. At one point daddy turned around to look at me and I was just looking so happy and unperturbed (my 13th birthday was in 18 days) I was so happy I beamed with the most wonderful smile on my own face while drawing a happy face in the condensed mist on the rear left passenger glass. I drew a circle, I drew one eye, then the nose, then the smile and then with one final flurry I made a dot for the other eye. It made dad happy too, he knew I was really a happy kid. Mom and he were so happy and blessed to have had me. As a family we conversed a lot. You don’t have to ask if daddy chat plenty! He is very transparent too. We spoke about the day, I told him I was having leg cramps which I think resulted from me having done a couple laps around the National Heroes Circle without having enough fluids.

Earlier in life I had a kidney diagnosis and had to be taken annually, several times during the year to the Bustamante Children’s hospital, for assessment and review, as I grew older these visits grew less as my situation improved. One of Dr. Amos' stipulation was that I was supposed to drink a lot of water (copious amounts he said). In deference to his wishes, I took a large igloo to school. I however would not drink near as enough as prescribed as it made me urinate frequently and though my parents had explained this to the school, there was always a teacher who would force me to keep my urine in, to the point of having bladder cramps.

I loved Track & Field, I told my parents that my coach, Burt Cameron, seemed proud to have had me on the squad and had promised that he would be showing us some spikes the following week. I further told them I wanted to represent Wolmer’s and my country, Jamaica, in Track and field.

Getting to St. Thomas from Kingston was pretty challenging but we made it safely enough, just wet car carpeting and a hoarse horn.

Georgette our friend and passenger (more like family to us) lives in our community so we dropped her off and then made it home.

Friday October 1, was a mixed bag, dad had gotten some news from “country” that never sounded so good, and being the “fuss” (first) boy and the one called when there were crises, decided he was going to St. Mary the following day, Saturday, to offer whatever was required (assistance, guidance whatever). It was also Everal’s (one of his supervisor) Birthday and he gave dad a bit of his birthday cake which he gave to me along with an orange juice as my snack for the journey home.

Friday October 1, was when Jacqueline Holding succeeded Gary Barrow as the new president of Cable & Wireless Jamaica. I recall leaving “Corporate” a little later than usual as dad and others were putting together a presentation for the handing over and so spent a bit of time in the CEO’s office, I, Warren rubbing shoulders with a few of the C&WJ big-wigs.

At home we greeted mommy, exchanged pleasantries. Dad had also ordered grocery that day and was not too pleased with the brown rice he had received from our grocer “Maxim” and decided he would take it back the following day on his way to St. Mary.

Mom and I went to bed, dad did not go immediately as he still had some fine tuning to make on a document for CEO Holding. This done he too went to bed.

On Saturday, October 2, 2004 dad got up about 5:30. After showering he came to my room (friends who know him well know he has an ear fetish). I remember him rolling my earlobe between thumb thumb and index finger. He asked me if I wanted to come with him to see the grand parents but I rolled over and told him I was tired (should he have insisted, I think not, later I’ll tell you why).

After having a light breakfast, he whispered to Pee (mmmy) that he was leaving and came to my room again and whispered also that he’d see me later. Later is still to come!

He drove from St. Thomas to Kingston in our little pocket-rocket, a 1990 Toyota Turbo Starlet GT. The usual 30 minute journey took about 20 as the road was clear of trucks, he was a little “excited” and the cool air gave the turbo a bit more oomph. For driving enthusiasts, you know as air gets colder, it gets denser. This means you get more oxygen within a smaller volume. More oxygen means more power.

He made a stop at Cable and Wireless where he printed the document and shoved it under EK’s (his boss’s) door for him to vet before giving to their new CEO.

On September 10-12, 2004, the centre of Ivan had passed near Jamaica, causing significant wind and flood damage, so the rural roads especially were significantly affected. Land slippages silted them in many places and erosion of the surface was common.

Dad took the rest of the journey calmly, not as excitable. He always told me he loved speed but didn’t drive carelessly nor dangerously. When he reached Georgia, in St. Mary, he called to give an update on his progress as well as to find out if home was ok. I answered as Mommy was either washing or busy somewhere else. He told him he’d called back when he reached Dada and Mama (my grandparents).

As he was driving in driveway of his childhood home he called again and informed us that he had arrived.

Dad had discussions with Dada and Mama to sort out things, he spent a little more time conversing with Carol my Aunt in Law, my cousins Eduardo and Jerard. He then bade “country” farewell and embarked on the return journey.

He was relatively calm, at least his right foot was ?.
He'll tell you he was a bit uneasy, probably because of the “country” discussions. I really do not know if the rest was from that which was to come, some sort of premonition or sixth sense. He called home and told mommy he was on his way back. He asked for me and was told me I was gone to the neighbors in front to play video games with my friend there.

He somehow remembered how happy I was the night before and the smiley face I drew, he looked at the glass but the image was gone. Little did he know that at that point I was on the final leg of this journey called life… probably already dead or struggling for my life.

Resulting from the state of the roads, the buses from St. Mary to Kingston were few and far between. There were many hitchhikers along the way, dad ignored most of them, however in Castleton he saw two mature women and stopped and picked them up. As he came further in what is called the Junction (a treacherous stretch of road with jagged rocks on one side and deep precipices on the other) he saw a fellow Turbo Starlet and the adrenalin rose, however as his passengers probably would have had a heart attack on good roads with ideal conditions, if he even as much as allowed the turbo to spool and the blowoff valve give off its signature hiss, he figured they’d die instantly in these conditions, as the roads were treacherous. Earlier I asked if he should have insisted that I travelled with him that morning, heaven only knows if he would have been so disciplined. I liked the competition and he probably would have done something stupid and killed us both or either of us. So Dad will tell you, he won’t debate these things as he can neither predict nor prognosticate. What was to be had to be.

He left his two passengers in Kingston with their hearts intact not knowing that they were very close to the manifestations of male ego, testosterone and adrenalin coupled with a CT12 turbo. Fellow Starlet was nowhere to be seen as I figured he saw dad in his rear view mirror and decided to show him a thing or two so he was far ahead or already at home when dad got to Kingston.

He stopped by the Corporate offices as Georgette my “sister” was working that day and he was about to offer her a ride home. Her real dad "Mike" was in Kingston and they both met up in the parking lot and chatted for a bit, Mike had the duties today. Dad then traveled to Maxim and had his rice exchanged and also used the opportunity to purchase a few tins of sausages as well. He was very hungry and opened a tin of the sausages and had them right out of the tin.

He then left Kingston for St. Thomas, he rode easy - no excitement, no turbo spool nor hiss from the blow off valve. When he came to the roundabout in Harbor View he saw a neighbor, whom he stopped for and gave her a lift. Dad was like that always picking up the whole parish in the small car. I never complained though I got a few squeezes now and again. He was very thirsty so he stopped in Bull Bay by Minna's little shop. Minna is Mommies grand niece. He bought two sodas one of which he gave to his passenger/neighbor. They rode easily into the South Eastern end of our beautiful island, talking about the aftermath of Hurricane Ivan among other things. She told dad he could have left her anywhere at the entrance of our “scheme”. Being the consummate Good Samaritan, he however, dropped her off at her home.

As dad neared our home he recall a little movement in the bushes by a shortcut on our avenue, He overheard something like “should I tell the man” It meant nothing to him at the time.

When he got in, he unpacked the grocery and put the items in their respective designated places. The grocery list was minus one tin of sausage LOL!

He enquired about me and was told me that I was still next-door, neither of them knowing that I was probably at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea or in a fish somewhere, heaven knows.

She told him that I didn’t call as usual. I had learnt well, my parents though adults, would call each other, including me, giving updates on our whereabouts and progress of events, I was taught to be polite.

The day this was written, I would have been 22 years old, I think I would have looked a lot like dad when he was this age.

My voice would have been much deeper though, probably like my maternal uncle Rob. I believe this because even at age 12 I had a deeper voice than dad now has at 50. I recall him singing in church and, I being his most avid critic, would ask him why he did not sing like a man. LOL. I remember him telling me that this voice got him a solo bronze medal and a choir silver at his national festivals while he attended primary school.

They know who I loved, MJ (though I loved Michael Jackson, these initials are for someone of the fairer sex). MJ was a little older than I was but it was not a problem for me as I was a mature 12 year-old. 10 years later I do not know if we’d be still friends, though MJ and dad still share little “father-in-law moments”. As it is said: what a difference a day makes. And oh what a difference!

By this time it was getting to be sunset and as dad was a bit tired from the journey, he showered and went to get a little nap. He found it difficult to sleep and about an hour later, got up. He was worried, that I had not called, this was an anomaly, an aberration. I would have called by now with my mature vocabulary: “Mommy or daddy I’m just concluding a discussion, can I have a few more minutes or moments”. Dad told Pee he thought I should come home as it was a bit late and I was out all day. Dad called the neighbors. My friend’s mother answered, he asked for Warren, she told him I was not there nor had been there all day but she would find out from her son if he knew where I was. Dad had a few moments wait as she sought to get the information, she came back saying that her son had not seen me all day.

Dad found this really strange.

Dad called my best friend who lived a little further from us, he too had not seen me all day. I had very few homes I would visit for as a family, we chose our friends carefully, so my parents had few options of places to call.

For a second time he called the home I had left to visit, asking to speak with my friend, again he did not come to the phone but only relayed through his mom that he had not seen me all day. Dad began to wonder if I was actually there that day and as kids we were horse playing and I was injured or dead. He was at my wits end. He again called my best friend who convincingly told me he had not seen him. For a third time dad called back the neighbor in front, she again asked my friend, her son, if he had any idea where I may be. She came back with the information that he said he had not seen me all day but I might have gone to the home of mutual friends of his. The neighbor told dad that her son was acting a little strange as he had gone to bed much earlier than usual. Later, when dad thought about the three calls, it reminded him of Peter in the Bible.

Daddy had no numbers for the suggested home, however as he had a church sister who lived directly beside them, he called her number and got her son. He was unable to get dad to speak directly with the friends but the word from them was that they too had neither seen me.

Somehow dad wanted to believe the friend next door so he told mommy was going to check things out and asked her to close the grill behind him. He went to his car, exited our home and as he was about to drive up the street, our neighbor came out and decided to drive with him as she knew those boys very well. About a third of the journey, though our streets are poorly lit, in the distance dad recognized the walk of someone approaching as one of the boys living at the home they were going. he pulled up beside him and asked if he had seen me, though in the dark, he had a cap ominously pulled down in his face, he never met dad's gaze, Dad sensed something in his demeanor that gave him a sinking feeling. He whispered that they were down by the sea and he stuttered not being able to let it come out… Daddy completed his story – Warren Drowned? he asked, to which he shook his head in the affirmative. Dad's world crumbled. He believes he heard the neighbor in the passenger seat saying something. To this date he cannot recall if she called out the name of the Lord or what is was. He was in a subconconcious state, he can’t recall why he did what he did or did not did he know what he should have done, but he spun the car around in the road and headed back home. In shock he never asked the guy for anymore details he never shouted at him he never felt anger, he never FELT, period, he was numb. He will tell you he was not in disbelief As he believed every of the few words he heard but God gave seemed to have given him a shot of something more powerful than any drug. He felt himself praying and telling the Lord, he knew He would see them through. Dad stopped at our gate which was open to let the neighbor out and drove in to tell mommy that her sweet son she brought into the world was gone.

She heard the car and was waiting by the grill, dad could not look at her, she asked him what had happened? He told her to open the grill, he hugged her and with a wail told her I was dead. Dad will tell you it is the worst thing he's ever had to do in his entire life. Mommy let out a scream more like a wail and went limp in dads arms. Dad started to talk to the Lord, he told Him he had promised to serve Him “come what may”. He told The Lord that if this was one of the “come what may” he was still willing to serve him. He kept asking for strength and to be given moment by moment. Whether he believed or not he kept whispering to mommy that they would be alright. After they were a bit more composed daddy called the police and was told that they had heard that a man drowned, someone had called and given no good details except that a man drowned by “Cow Bay”. He told them he believed it was his son and was instructed to come to the station. Dad made some calls one to Pastor FD who was my Pastor at the time. Dad thinks he drove mommy and himself to the church to pastor, as he can't recall the journey. Pastor decided to drive us to the station. Dad felt sick and vomited air as he had not eaten since the sausage and soda earlier in the day, he says he think he felt like a mother feels, he had this low feeling in the bottom of his belly. Poor mommy was a picture of grief not saying much. Her pain a million fold more than dad's. Pastor stalled the car a couple times and dad took over and drove to the station. Dad felt a bit of anger at the questions they were being asked plus at the police's non response when they got the initial call. The usual suspicion of the family was coming over in their questioning and dad curtly told the police that he couldn’t talk to them then, and went home.

The story is the story as told:

I had gone to the friend's home in front, the friend was not there and I went seeking him at another home I heard he was. At the other home I learned that my friend was there earlier but had gone to the sea. Neighbors report seeing me accompanying or being accompanied by other boys going in the direction of the sea.

Including my friend, it is said that some of the boys were on the shore while others including an adult male were in a boat in the sea, after sometime and discussion about me wanting to learn to swim I was either invited or invited myself to the boat, (remember this is the story given). This adult male in the boat, my parents haven’t heard from nor has been able to locate said adult male). It is further said that I held a rope, which moored the boat to the shore and with its help walked to the boat, it is said that I held onto the boat and was about to attempt to enter the boat when I caused it to lean a bit, it is said that the adult male used an expletive to me stating that I was about to cause the boat to capsize and me being frightened, let go of the boat and went down in the water, water in which I had just walked to the boat. It is said I went down and came up a couple times and then they just saw bubbles. They tried to throw me some rope to no avail. My friends say the adult male ran away

This happened near midday. Dad came home from “country” way in the evening hours. By the time they decided to have a search party it was too dark, possibly after 8 pm. The police accompanied by folks from the church and neighbors tried, the coastguard, everyone. To this day all was found were my clothes on the shore. I had a set of keys, which went missing. Dad changed around the locks that night. My poor parents and never slept for the first week.

It has been an uphill task for them. On top of their grief and loss, they had to satisfy the authorities that they had nothing to do with my demise. Can you imagine losing your loved one and then being suspects, being interviewed a number of times and having to attend coroners inquests? I don’t know for anyone else in situation like these but it took my parents quite a bit of time before we were intimate and they'll tell you. they felt guilty.

My parents have had some incidents that stood out in our memories and one was their 16th wedding anniversary.

21st April 2006

Today we celebrate our 16th wedding Anniversary. We were hoping it to be a sweet 16 Anniversary; instead this morning we are preparing our minds and emotions for the Coroner's Inquest into our son's "disappearance". A few days ago we were told by someone (a police friend) that these sessions could be nerve-racking ordeals.

The instant (some weeks ago) we got the subpoenas, we had made a written request pleading with the office of the clerk of courts for the date to be moved to an earlier or later one (on compassionate grounds) as we realized it fell on the date of our wedding anniversary, and we felt that from today on, this day would not be remembered with the joy it should be: the joy of a wonderful Saturday afternoon where everything was wonderful. It is also the day when our son gave us a wonderful anniversary present...his baptism three years ago. We never had a response to our letter.

Warren's absence is forever here with us, he is a child that could not be gone and not be missed. He was at home more often than not. At twelve he would still climb with his big self onto mommy's lap or in the cold of the morning would turn up in our room to warm himself between us. He never cooked (yes he cooked at 12) or made his snacks only for himself.

The week he went missing, I vividly remember him chopping onions and sweet pepper to make his famous tuna sandwich, which also would have mayonnaise, black pepper and a little crushed pimento added. He came in the living room and asked "daddy you want tuna?". He and I traveled in excess of 40 miles daily, giving us the chance to really bond as son and dad. He had a mind of his own which I admired and though we had our small differences we shared a wonderful relationship.

Since his "disappearance" we have been forced to find peace in the midst of our storms.... To see beauty, not only in the good situations that life deals us, but in the bad ones as well.

Our storm today is a heightened sense of his absence (brought on by our court appearance). Anniversary out of our minds!

This morning we made no preparation for celebrations; instead our full focus was to be prepared for standing in court to discuss the most tragic of events in our lives.

We left home feeling that someone or persons had no sympathy for us and were apathetic to the degree that they disregarded our letter, which was an earnest plea to consider our feelings.

Court begins at 10 a.m. we are however very early; 9:15 finds us waiting on the steps of the court looking at the back of the statue of national hero Paul Bogle.

10 am we are ushered in to take our seats.

Anyhow, before the days proceedings commenced, the Clerk of the court (to whom our letter was addressed) could be heard discussing it's receipt with some other party. It appears that some sort of concession was to be made on our behalf.

The judge came, a most beautiful woman, her voice (in most instances) was almost a whisper. To most of her statements/responses, she also had this humorous conclusion "All Rightie then!" This reminded me a great deal of the quip of one of Warren's favorite actor/character: Jim Carrey - in Ace Ventura Pet Detective "

A sample scenario would be:

JUDGE: "We are setting a new date for May 19th as we have only police witnesses, do you understand?

PEOPLE: Yes your honor!

JUDGE: "I would like to have civilian witnesses as well, so we are giving some time for the civilian witnesses to be subpoenaed, is that date okay with you. May 19th?"

PEOPLE "Yes your honor!"

JUDGE: "All rightie then!"

Apart from Her Honor's interjection of humor, the day was not without humor from other participants:

- There was a policeman who took almost an hour (hyperbole) to read one of those "O Yeah O Yeah God save the Queen. pronouncements.

He rambled/mumbled on and on.

Her honor made several attempts to assist the poor policeman in concluding the pronouncement, but he still had a hard time doing so. While this in itself was pitiful in my eyes, several persons in the court room could be heard snickering and making comical statements, some saying, they did not know that they allowed persons in the police force who could not read. Their cup was half empty.

My cup being half full, I concluded that probably the police had gotten an illegible document... I was almost certainly being kind to the policeman. You be the judge!

- There was also another policeman (a member of a party to answer to a matter) who was without his tie. When questioned about its absence from his dress, he responded to Her honor that it had gotten soiled while he was having breakfast. The judge laughingly told him next time he should wear the soiled tie instead of coming without one. I found this quite funny, as she did not tell him to find another tie but that he should have worn the soiled one. "All rightie then"

- Her honor would call for witnesses and in almost all instances the police would in repeating, distort the names, sometimes the distortion was so ridiculous I wondered if they did it for fun or boredom control

- I also found the bowing of persons leaving and returning the court quite humorous.

Some cases have been stood down to be resumed later today.

In others, the witness have been bound over to return at later dates to facilitate:

- the subpoenaing of witnesses as well as

- required things that were missing, gathered.

It is now our time and we all go forward as our names are called. My wife is not called though subpoenaed.

There was an exchange between the Clerk and her honor, in which he explains that the date is not convenient for some parties (us) and also that the investigating officer was not present and asked that a new date be set.

We can see the clerk leafing through a file which includes pages of notes, a photo of our son (that was given to the police at the time of his mysterious disappearance) among other things. He also offers minor details of the fateful day October 2, 2004 to her honor.

Her honor asks if May 19th would be ok for us.

PEOPLE: Yes your honour!

JUDGE: All Rightie Then!

11:30 we are on our way out of the courtroom.

We truly appreciate the fact that the court had the proceedings set for a month later, but our day could have been ruined, and I say could have been, as we were able to find some humor in the days proceedings plus (though a tad late) the attempt to take our feelings into consideration was redemptive and assuaged our feelings of unhappiness to some extent.

We drove from Morant Bay to Yallahs, along the way we discussed the time in court. We seemed to have forgotten our anniversary.

Now for the celebrations:

In Yallahs we stopped and bought 4 chicken patties and headed for home. It was now about midday. All this while, celebrations were still out of our minds.

Suddenly a light went on in my head and I kind of "said/asked" wifey: "why don't we just drive to Ocho Rios. She agreed.

We headed for Ocho Rios, for the moment forgetting the morning's activities and just focusing on the past 16 years.

We were unaware that fun and games were awaiting us on infamous Mount Rosser.

We approached the foot of "the Mount" and after an approximately three minutes drive uphill, came upon a long line of stationery vehicles.

After five minutes we moved about 4 car spaces. We continued this trend for approximately 1 and 1/4 hours before we exited Mount Rosser.

The guilty culprits were two broken down trucks on the hill. This coupled with several extra long trailers created the traffic snarl.

It was approximately 3:45 when we exited Mount Rosser and it took another hour for us to arrive in Ocho Rios. This extra hour resulted from the number of vehicles ahead that were part of the delayed Mount Rosser convoy.

In Ocho Rios we went to a small restaurant to have a quiet meal. We had the choice of eating on the inside or outside. We opted on eating outside, joining a family of three adults and four kids. They (not softly) discussed many things about packing barrels and how many times the male adult of the group cooked while his female partner was at work. Deducing from the discussion, it seemed as if he did his fair share. He was also very attentive to the kids cleanliness as he was the one armed with napkins cleaning grubby little fingers and ketchup-soiled faces. The kids would occasionally flash us heartwarming smiles, otherwise they would make a racket, but it was a welcome din. You never know how welcome these things are until they are missing.

Their meals completed they excused themselves. One female adult told us goodbye also expressing apologetically how happy we must have been to see their backs, we told her on the contrary that we had enjoyed their company. We wished we had our son creating a racket.

It was getting a bit late for our journey back home and we had not cooked any dog food for our two gravid mongrels, I looked around and as there were only the eyes of the security guard, I lifted the top from the garbage container and made two wonderful packages of anniversary dinner for our canine friends.

My wife laughed all through this ordeal thinking how funny it would be to hear stories of friends seeing me rummaging through garbage containers in Ocho Rios. I had a good laugh as well.

In heading back home, the beginning of the journey was fast and furious, as the little Glanza was been pushed to its limit. This was however short lived as the situation on the Mount was not resolved and we found ourselves again in the long line.

Even though there were policemen directing the traffic, this encounter added an additional 1/2 hour to our previous ordeal so our new wait time was 1 and 3/4 hours. We sat and amid discussing our life together, listened an evening talk show "Beyond the Headlines ". The hosts had a guest, a writer whose name we did not ascertain at first, I however gathered that she was born in Port Maria, in the parish of St. Mary where I was born. This peaked my interest and as we continued listening (to among other things) the writer recounting how she had lost both her mom and Grandpa on the same day. It then hit me, I did not only know the victims but knew this lady as well, she was Judy Powell and her mom taught me in primary school. Judy is now an accomplished writer living in Canada with several popular books to her credit. I felt proud as I listened her story and her achievements. If it were not for Mount Rosser's delay I would have been home watching The Hallmark or the History channel. It would have been a serious loss.

After the 1+3/4 hr stop and go driving we finally exited Mount Rosser. We arrived home a little after 9 pm. We had spent in excess of 12 hours away from home.

We gave our doggies their anniversary dinners. For them it was a welcome change from their usual cornmeal and meat scraps. We showered, gave God thanks and turned in.

We know that legal issues have to be addressed but we wonder what will be achieved by an inquest. Our son is gone, we never recovered his body and as christians we look at the good side as we have the hope we will see him again and though his loss has been the worst thing to have happened in our sixteen years together, life has been for the greater part - BEAUTIFUL. We have learnt to count our blessings. Yes there is beauty both in the storm and the calm as well.

Keep looking at your cup as half full, not half empty. Live and love well, while it is possible. Share all you can now, so when the inevitable comes you won't have to deal with the remorse of shortchanging your loved ones while they lived or of living with the regret of not doing and saying the things you should have.

Thank God this does not haunt us.

How we spent the day?

The humor of the morning, the delays in Mount Rosser (which gave us a lot of time to discuss our 16 wonderful years), listening to the din of the family at the restaurant, hearing Judy (who had both her mom and grand parent slaughtered and not responding with bitterness) and seeing two extra happy dogs, helped us to further count our blessings.

Yes! Despite the odds, we did not have the sweetest 16th Anniversary but we indeed had a great day.

We continue to hold on to our God as a change is coming: So like the word of the song by Sound of Blackness if you are the man who ask:

How can you smile when your world is done crumbling down?

How can you smile when your lost your only child?

Either of of is will say to you here's my secret, when I wanna cry,

I take a look around
and I see that I'm getting by

And I hold on A change is coming, Hold on I Don't worry bout a thing!

We have NEVER asked the Lord why. He Knows best.

And those who know us, Knows We Never lost our Joy, Hope, Praise nor Smile.

You see our pictures, we are still smiling God gives real Peace to us.

Many times I speak to persons about him and they wonder why I smile. I remember Sean (the best man at my wedding, I was the better lol) saying to me “Bert everytime you speak about Warren you smile”.

It’s the wonderful memories. His loss was a million times more than a terrible speed bump it was like a fatal crash, but friends, the journey was good. The fact that I can be at peace does not mean that I loved my child less than any other parent. The Peace Pëë and I share is true PEACE which can be experienced in the midst of storms, wars and turmoil. The Peace only GOD can give. Do you know that Peace?

If you were one who wanted the gory details, now you got it. Dad gave it with his eyes all wet and the same deep sinking feeling in his heart and belly.